Here’s a great word tool I came across. It’s a little different from your regular thesaurus. It’s at VisuWords.com
As public speakers, we need to learn how to move people to action with our words as well as our feelings. This word tool is just another method of improving your vocabulary and word choice. Watch the video below and see how to use it…simple.
Keeping your message positive and constructive is one of the most important aspects of speaking if you are going to keep rapport and a connection with your audience. This is especially true if you are a person in authority such as a manager, team leader or a CEO.
When you open your mouth to speak, you have a responsibility to your listener to what you say…for what you say as well as how you say it will ultimately affect how your staff will act in response.
There are times when you will have to deliver tough news to your team and staff, so careful development will be critical if you are to stay connected to them. There is nothing more de-motivating for staff members to hear a person in authority tell them how bad they are performing and that if things don’t improve…heads will roll.
You never want to deliver a message from the standpoint of complaint and grievance.
Here’s what I mean: have you ever been speaking to someone (one-on-one) in a conversation and you walk away and you think, “Boy that person is exhausting!”
They complain about everything…they’re job; they’re kids; the traffic…the weather…anything!
It may be that, that person is quite negative and as a result you feel anything but encouraged…if fact, you just feel worn down. You see, in the world where most people have a negative outlook on life, as leaders we need to be vigilant that we don’t adopt that mentality, especially if we want to be a source of encouragement and inspiration to someone else.
As leaders, we need to be different…
I heard this great passage some time ago about people’s problems:
It says, “If every person who complained about their problem could come from all corners of the earth and take and pile their problems in a heap; and if each person could see the size and gravity of the problems of others, they would sneak forward shame faced idly and take their petty problems away and creep into the night.”
We can’t understand the magnitude of other people’s problems. Some people just love to complain for complaining sake…they play victims all the time; others have big challenges in their life so we need to be sensitive so as not to crush their spirit.
Try something with me for a moment:
Think back to the talks and speakers you have enjoyed in the past. Perhaps it was a recorded seminar on CD or a live seminar you attended. What was it about their talk that you enjoyed? Wasn’t it that they were encouraging and motivating and that their tone was positive?
I mean, none of us would say, “Wow, this guys amazing…his insight is remarkable” The way he vividly talks about the problems in our workplace is incredible!” NO…it’s the parts that give us hope and optimism about our life and work which provide the fuel of motivation.
As a speaker and a person in authority, you need to have empathy and understand that people are sometimes worn down in their lives.
You don’t have to share in their problems, but by being empathic, you’ll stay connected and your listeners will know that you care about their outcome. You also don’t want to be disgruntled and frustrated otherwise anything you say will be defended.
How do you talk about problems that have arisen in your organization?
Here are three points to keep in mind…The first point to remember is this…
1) Limit the time talking about the problem:
A few years ago, my beautiful wife Livia and I conducted marriage coaching. We used a therapy model called, “Solution Orientated Brief Therapy”. In short, it’s about limiting the time talking about the problem and discussing the times when things did work well within a person’s marriage. This kept the tone more positive as couples got to examine what worked and what didn’t.
When we’d find something that was working well within the relationship, we focused our attention on that and discussed what actions resulted from that situation. To cut a long story short, we focused on what they were doing right and how they can keep it going. This made the couples feel more successful and came to appreciate that they weren’t failures.
The bottom line is this… if you inundate your audience with negative information about how bad it is this will not motivate your audience to action…they will feel heavy hearted and feel what they do just doesn’t matter. You must limit talking about the problem and focus on a solution that will ultimately benefit them.
Never talk about how the solution will improve your personal income and enable you to archive your personal goals… people only care about that old radio station… WIIFM or “What’s in it for me”. When you speak, people want to know, “What’s in it for me”. And for everyone, it’s different.
Not everyone is motivated by money, some are motivated by recognition. Talk to your team and find out what motivates them.
So, limit your time talking about the problem and focus on the gain. There is a challenge to present a balance of positive and negative but ultimately you want your listener to be inspired to action.
2) The second point to keep in mind is be empathetic:
Walking in other people’s shoes can enable you to know what you’re staff are going through. If you’re a person in authority, talk about experiences that were tough for you that you were able to overcome.
Sometimes your listener can think that you are above problems because of your position, so being just a little vulnerable can show that you are human. Just make sure it’s appropriate for the situation you’re in. Another vital point to remember is to thank your staff for the things they do right. Identify specifics, notice those and thank them for it. Thank you are powerful words when they are meant.
3) Speak about actions that improve the situation:
After discussing the problem in brief, talk about what you do want rather than what you don’t want. As human beings, we are professionals at identifying what we don’t want. However, when you talk about what you don’t want, it seems to be magnified.
Give people a list of things they can do to make a difference. Be specific and people will be clearer about what they have to do. By giving them realistic goals, you keep your team motivated and prevent them from becoming discouraged by not being able to achieve what’s set before them.
So, remember those three points, 1) Limit the time you have to talk about the problem, 2) Be empathetic 3) Speak about things that will improve the situation. If you follow these guidelines, then you’ll be in a better position of respect.
